Confiscated booty belongs in a safe place, and for beaver pirates, that means putting mulch into the treasure chest. Don’t set off a pirate beaver, or your lawn will suffer.

Pittsburgh is the city of hard working, studious, energetic and no-nonsense people. So beavers fit right in. Beavers are often referred to as the ‘steel rodents’. … ‘Often’ is of course a relative term.

Button-like eyes bring out the haters. Haters are gonna hate, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Just keep on being adorable, and let the rough and tumble beavers do their thing.

Button-like eyes and a thumbs up, sometimes beavers can be just so darned adorable. Who doesn’t want to just run up and squeeze the stuffing out of this little guy? This is a face that screams “Pet this beaver.”

Question: “Have Beavers contemplated Quantum Mechanics or any other forms of non-Newtonian physics? It may be the key to building a better dam.” – Christopher A., Pittsburgh PA

Answer: Beavers are a little quantum shy at this point. Forgetting to carry the 1 can have dire consequences.

Diplomat and 6th president John Quincy Adams had some words about leadership that beavers hold in high regard.

Iconoclast Todd McFarlane has a visual style that jumps off the page, and beavers are really drawn to that individuality. Don’t be surprised to see beavers flipping through back issues of Spawn or the newer series Haunt.

Relaxation is an important aspect of beaver life, those who work hard need to play hard. Fishing is one way they do it. But they might not be doing it right.

Maintenance of the homestead is something that beavers take special pride in. It is extremely unlikely that you’ll ever see a beaver pushing a lawnmower without a smile on his face.

Preparation is something the beavers know a lot about. They store for winter and for drought. They do not, however, fear a zombie apocalypse. Instead, they store for something much more sinister, the Zombie Alpacalypse. Zombie Alpacas aren’t really dangerous, since they are vegetarians. They just look weird and freak out beavers.

Evolution can be an amazing study. Why, for instance, did beaver tails evolve to have exactly the right friction coefficient to make hood sliding so natural for them? Or perhaps it was man who made the car finish the right texture to make it work. Either way, this strange behavior can be seen from time to time when beavers come out into civilization (to solve a crime or escape from Sheriff Rosco P Coltrane.)

George Washington is known for being the great truth-sayer, never able to tell a lie. Little known fact: That whole myth is based upon an incident where he did indeed lie, to save the skin of his beaver friend. History can be a rich study if you dig deep enough.

Storyteller of worldwide renowned Edgar Allen Poe is entitled a few words on the meaning of being an artists and the definition of ‘art’.

Legendary comic book artist Mike Mignola has a distinctive style that beavers appreciate. The simple yet bold inking style is instantly recognizable. Beavers have an appreciation for simple yet signature design.

Endurance is chief among the traits necessary to be a great fiddle player. If you’re going to play with beavers, you gotta have a fiddle in your band.

Communal and industrious, ants are the beavers of the insect world. Plus, they are funny. The ‘who farted’ joke with ants is even funnier than with beavers.

Tyrannical forces have forever banded together behind the scenes to shape society. They want the culture to reflect darkly on freedom and bravery. And there comes a time when a call goes out to beings great and small. They are asked to answer, to respond, to be a beacon. Be it god, soldier, scientist or monster, good will rise to defeat evil. Avengers…beavers.

Literature is a strange thing. Translations and reprints happen over time, and characters change their context to reflect the contemporary society. That’s not to say that we know in the original Alice that the Cheshire Cat was actually a beaver, but he may have been.

Seminal works like Sin City and The Dark Night Returns have influenced beaver culture. When it comes to grim and gritty heroes, Marv tops their list.

American author, poet, abolitionist, and philosopher Henry David Thoreau had a thing or two to say about truth. There is a need to listen in order to know what is true.